Prenatal / Postpartum
Depression, Anxiety
& Adjustment
Counselling for perinatal mental health concerns in South Surrey and BC
Discovering your baby and re-discovering you.
TAME ANXIETY
FEEL MORE CONNECTED
"In giving birth to our babies, we may find we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves."
- Myla & John Kabat-Zinn -
No two people experience pregnancy and the postpartum period the same. Yet, we are faced with a number of societal and cultural messages that shape our expectations of how things "should" be/look/feel. When personal experiences don't line up with these expectations, we may believe that there is something wrong with "us," as though our struggling is a sign of failing.
Struggling does NOT mean that you are doing this wrong
- or that you weren't meant to be a parent.
Let's look into why....
THE UNIQUENESS OF
THE PERINATAL PERIOD
While differing definitions exist, the perinatal period is typically defined as the period from becoming pregnant up to the first year following birth. If we consider changes to the brain and body however, some research suggests that significant changes continue to occur up to 2 years post-birth (Pritschet, L., Taylor, C.M., Cossio, D. et al. Neuroanatomical changes observed over the course of a human pregnancy. Nat Neurosci (2024). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41593-024-01741-0).
This period of time also involves some of the most dramatic shifts and life transitions, spanning across all aspects of the perinatal person's life. This includes changes to body/biology, social relationships, cognition, spirituality, emotions, finances, relationships, identity and selfhood.
The perinatal period is a tremendous stage of growth and change.
Significant change means a significant amount of life energy will be wrapped up in adjustment to such changes.
"In giving birth to our babies, we may find we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves."
Perinatal/Postpartum Adjustment
Changes within us are imminent the moment we step on the path to parenthood and vary depending on circumstances (i.e. planned, unplanned, medically or otherwise-assisted conception). During the prenatal period, adjustment can often mean: a shift to future thinking; changes in decision making processes (reflecting changing priorities); adjustments to ongoing body changes (for birthing parents), etc.
After birth, many parents are (quite frankly) taken aback by a life that looks so different from the one they were living just 48hrs or so earlier! This sense of shock can feel even more surreal when feeling incredibly bonded to baby is not an immediate experience (which it is not uncommon!)
Adjusting to life with a baby is not easy. We are often feeling at our most vulnerable and under-resourced, while our simultaneous desire is to bring our best to the table. This can leave many parents feeling that they are struggling to meet their own or others' expectations, or simply the demands of being a parent to a baby.
Needing to talk out all these changes with someone is not unusual at all and for many, is helpful in processing such a big life change. Often, people experience some relief to low mood or anxiety symptoms as a result of being able to speak openly about their experiences (especially the unfavorable ones). Sometimes, this prevents the challenging symptoms from becoming more problematic. For some, however, symptoms of anxiety and depression do move on to meet criteria for perinatal depression or anxiety diagnosis.
It is estimated that 1 in 5 women may be impacted by perinatal depression and up to 20% of people, approximately, develop perinatal anxiety.
- PSI International -
Perinatal Anxiety (PPA)
Anxiety may show up in pregnancy and postpartum in the form of:
1. Thoughts - such as worries, worst-case scenarios. a great deal of future-related thinking, intrusive thoughts/images (involuntary and unwelcome thoughts i.e. around baby's safety)
2. Body responses - feeling panicky, somatic complaints, shallow breath, racing heart, etc.
3 Behaviours/actions - avoiding certain people/places/things, repetitive behaviours intended to reduce distress (ie. checking), reassurance-seeking, changes to sleep and appetite, etc.
4. Intense feelings - mood swings, uncharacteristic anger/rage, etc.
In pregnancy, you might experience worries about your own and baby's health & safety, stress regarding your current or future circumstances, concerns your relationship may change, and fears around birth or about something bad happening.
Postpartum anxiety may consist of similar worries, body reactions, and intrusive thoughts around accidental or intentional harm to baby. You may feel afraid to be left alone with baby or how to manage being in public spaces. Many mothers simply worry about being a good parent.
While some anxiety is normal and to be expected, sometimes the anxiety response goes on "overdrive," causing distress, while taking up a lot of time, energy and headspace. You may wonder how to tell the difference between symptoms of problematic anxiety and the reality of being a breathless pregnant person or a sleepy new parent.
It never hurts to speak with a counsellor to find out.
Whether you are being impacted a little or a lot by perinatal anxiety, counselling can be a helpful resource to feel more at ease and available to connect with your baby.
Perinatal/Postpartum Depression
Unlike the baby blues (which typically starts within the first week postpartum, subsiding within two weeks), postpartum depression (PPD) can have symptoms lasting over weeks or months (some argue extending well past the perinatal period).
PPD may show up in pregnancy and postpartum in the form of:
1. Thoughts - excessive worries, thoughts of harming self or baby, difficulty concentrating
2. Body responses - extreme fatigue, loss of energy and motivation, or restlessness
3 Behaviours/actions - loss of interest in things you enjoyed and loved, changes to sleep and appetite, frequent crying, lack of interest in being around baby, severe insomnia, withdrawal from others
4. Intense feelings - sadness, guilty, shame or feeling unworthy.
Unfortunately, the realities of new parenthood - such as very little sleep, time to eat nutritious meals, hormonal drops, changes in social relationships, lack of outside time and activity/movement, time for self-care - are all conditions that may create vulnerabilities to depression.
It's important to remember that Postpartum Depression is treatable, does not reflect your capacity as a parent and you are not to blame.
How Therapy Can Help
Here are just a few of the ways therapy might help you with pre/postpartum adjustment, perinatal depression and anxiety
01
Honour and identify all the changes.
Being able to name and have feelings (without judgement) about all the ways your life has changed is incredibly important to understanding what you are going through. Parenthood is multidimensional and full of simultaneous, yet seemingly opposite experiences. Meaning, you may feel immense love for your baby and want your old life back at the same time!
03
Update unhelpful beliefs
Very little will challenge our beliefs or old mindsets quite like parenthood. We may harbour beliefs about productivity and worth, beliefs about ourselves, beliefs about what makes a good parent, etc. Sometimes those old beliefs in this new experience just doesn't mesh well and brings us a great deal of discomfort. Therapy can help you explore new ways of understanding, new yardsticks to measure "success," and new ways to hold compassion for ourselves as perfectly imperfect parents.
05
Identify and enlist supports
The old adage "It takes a village to raise a child" has gone through the test of time for good reason. Not everyone has active support systems at this particularly vulnerable period of life. Therapy can help you identify, connect with and communicate effectively to enlist the support of others or community resources that can greatly assist you in carrying the load during this time.
02
Bring ease to symptoms
Understanding which parts of your current experience (i.e. thoughts, feelings, behaviours) are symptoms of perinatal adjustment, anxiety or depression can bring immense relief. Especially when you are able to learn and utilize strategies to ease these symptoms on a day-to-day basis. Suddenly, you are no longer your symptoms, but a whole self, managing symptoms.
04
Illuminate the larger context
Many people carry with them legacies from their previous experiences, the ways in which they were raised, or old messages they received that have carried forward. Being able to understand those tender parts in ourselves better, can help us be less reactive and more intentional parents. Perhaps there is no real singular guidebook to parenting because we are meant to write our own.
06
Become comfortable in new shoes
Becoming a parent requires a tremendous amount of learning-on-the-job. It makes sense we won't have all the answers and need to learn as we go. Therapy can help you to become more comfortable with uncertainty, develop confidence and grow to be the parent you want to be (maybe not ALL the time though - we are human after all)!
